Oh dear, oh dear
The da Vinci Code, eh? I can’t speak about the book but the film is quite possibly the most boring piece of drivel I’ve ever come across.
I always thought of the first Lord of the Rings film as a bit “they did this… then they went there… then they did that… then they went somewhere else… then they did something else… the end.” dVC takes this a bit further by doing just the same but adding long boring bits of historical ramblings that flew over just about everybody in the audience (at least all four of us). They weren’t even interesting, or funny… they were a bit pointless, really.
I wouldn’t mind too much but the whole “doing bits” bits were poor too. The whole opening scene with the blood and secret messages splattered all over the place was pointless, not to mention pathetic. Why did he decide to set himself up in a funny position with blood all over his body again? As far as I can tell it was the “get Fred Bloggs” written on the floor that did it all… the rest just seemed to be for show.
As for the acting… well. That French girl, she’s hot, but the dialogue between her and Tom Hanks was cringeworthy. The timing seemed way out. Remember the defining moment of the most recent Star Wars movie? The cheesy “I love you” line? Yup, sort of like that… only spread over a few sentences. Mr Leon wasn’t great, either… he’s seeming a bit “past it” and the whole French cop role is getting boring. Somebody needs to give him a big knife, a plant and a really young girl. Having said that, I quite liked the Albino guy… he did a pretty good job. But I think half of that was down to the fact that he was a funny colour.
Actually, I didn’t want to comment on the plot too much but I’ve just realised how poor it was. It was a bit of a wild goosechase with some horrendously obvious twists (who didn’t suspect the Butler the second they saw him?)... I really really hope the book is much better.
Did I mention it was a good hour too long? If they cut out some of the history rambling crap it would have been a lot more easy to watch.
It seems to me this film was made solely for the purpose of making some money. I think they knew from the start that they couldn’t make a good film out of it, that it would get shocking reviews and so on… but as they say “CINEMA: IT’S THE EXPERIENCE THAT COUNTS.”
Tags: Films